I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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