I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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