Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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