I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
