Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
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Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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