It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize
