i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
