i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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