I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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