Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
