you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
