real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
