community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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