you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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