I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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