A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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