party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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