Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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