Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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