like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
