i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
