Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
