He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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