maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
