I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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