That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
