I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
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I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize