$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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