I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
