he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
sex in a hospital.. check
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
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