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Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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