kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
