how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
