Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
