Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
