I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
