you turned your livingroom into a bong?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
