Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
