just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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