singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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