I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
