Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink

(313): View more from Michigan

Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver

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(586): View more from Michigan

dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?

Fav 2 1399 791
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(925): View more from California

Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.

Fav 47 5873 1733
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear

Fav 12 3823 2451
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(615): View more from Tennessee

I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.

Fav 31 1372 4855
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that

Fav 13 1328 5083
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience

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(540): View more from Virginia

pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.

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(310): View more from California

Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!

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