omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
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does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
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Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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