There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
