In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
