Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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