Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
