Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
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I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
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