Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
