Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
