why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
