no, he came in my armpit
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
