Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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