bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
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That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
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"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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