She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
