so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
