The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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