Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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