I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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