Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
