...so i touched it.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
